Wasting time

Apparently today is some kind of a holiday… which has created a few problems..

I couldn’t get an appointment to see my doctor to see about getting a chantex prescription refill… I literally only have about 2 and a half days left.. and I haven’t totally stopped smoking yet.. and you should generally stay on them for a bit after you’ve stopped.. and.. well.. I’m down to smoking not very much at all, only had a couple yesterday..

The big issue her is money.. that I can’t afford to both go out and smoke… and im in this mad lonely isolation, being without internet… plus a lot of economic things hitting me at once.. and there’s a real need to get out from under it all…

The second thing is I screwed up on was an appointment with a person trying to help me in my housing dilemma… which is a serious looming problem… but.. the messing up on it bothers me more then the effect of the messing up on it on the loom.

I meant to go to the library on some… its probably a wrong assumption.. that its somehow more secure then, say, mc donalds open wifi… in order to create a new google account.. but then there were also a number of other balls to try and get rolling.. and it turns out the Library is closed for the same reason as the hospital..

And so now I’m sitting here… in the heat… in my car.. in front of a McDonalds.. thinking I’d probably be better off if I stayed in today… and just worked on learning that HTML 5 business.. and whatever else.

Revising Plans of Attack

So.. my plan of attack seems ever evolving.. I’ve now got some kind of a studio thing set up using this computer which is.. perhaps “good enough for government work…. under the Bush Administration” if not good enough under any other circumstances.. We’ll have to see how that goes.

In the mean time.. what the real priority item seems to be is building the web presence the right away… I’ve sorta tones down my expectations in relationship to the last time I post on the subject… and am now thinking more in terms of “iterations” of the site.

Basically the plan is get my music into online distribution.. from what information I’ve been able to get on the subject.. it seems reasonable that one can actually earn a living from nothing but making music in a studio and running a web presence.. maybe not a great living.. but… making more then $500 isn’t exactly too high a bar to exceed… err though as soon as I start making money I start loosing benefits.. so I’m not really sure where the real bar is, but it can’t really be that high, right?

So that would at least seem to be the primary objective of the site… other objectives would include:

  1. Trying to sell myself / services as a producer / engineer
  2. Attract team member of both the creative and business persuasions
  3. Have some kind of online portfolio to potentially get jobs as a web design, graphic designer, animator, photographer, video production person, social web strategist, and whatever the hell else..

To do this I’m attempting to learn the latest greatest ( or “cutting edge” as they say in the cliche biz ) web technologies and techniques…

So basically my time ought to be divided up into collaborative adventures, learning web technologies, web design, music production… and all that stuff about getting my life in order as far as keeping the car on the road, avoiding homelessness, and um.. all that good stuff.

And hopefully somewhere in here I can do some networking

Ongoing sages of despair, downward spirals, and web design

Not despair at attempts at web design, or over web design adventures and project goals, and or what have you.. but… just the condition of my life:  Where mental health professionals start talking about the benefits of mental health hospitals, soup kitchens, and shelters… The wonderful life situations surrounding all this.. forming the sub context for the web design adventures.. and maybe check out my last post on the subject for even more subtext on the design, or how about why I’m focusing on this problem as a pose to say.. video and content marketing, or more hard core electronic music production.

Of course there’s more tales of woe then all that… but who wants to be a Debbie downer?!

Yeah.. so web design

I’m a deep diver.. I suppose like that women from Silence of the Lambs? No.. I mean in the sense that when I get into a subject I go DEEP… [try talking to me about Nietzsche, Jung, Foucault, Evolutionary Psychology, Marketing, Business models, Technology, Art, Film, or African American Politics sometime] and I suppose its just that cognitive behavioral whatever.. that has me contemplating a career in web design.. as I jump into the subject.

A part of it is that you can really only go so far down this rabbit hole(maybe any).. if you’re not planning on using it as an income source.. and I’m kinda looking at it going “yeah, I really don’t think I can hack this poverty much longer.” (not to mention.. how do you survive in suburbia without a car?)

But it really is a massive undertaking.. I mean sure.. I know all about web strategy, as it relates to site design, subjects of digital and social media marketing, content marketing.. and blah blah blah… but understanding the ins and outs of hand coding HTML5, CSS3, JQuery/DOM Scripting, whatever code libraries and whatever you call those other things things.. along other echo systems stuff.. best practices and.. on and on.. is kinda a major undertaking…

And the thing is…. drum roll please.. my design ideas kinda require a pretty decent mastery of all that stuff.

My approach to Web Design Grand Poe Bah Master Hood (or at least designing one hell of a bad ass site)

I have a multi part plan of attack.. waging the good fight on multiple front’s, don’t cha know?

  1. Mind Mapping functionality and software architecture for special web app style wordpress augmentations (all business application centric)
  2. Mind Mapping (personal)brand values.. which should inform branding and the visual identity stuff.. to say nothing of what.. the visual stuff of the site should communicate or express (nor to say anything about site content)
  3. Making frequent trips to book stores where I poor through various books (really all the current books on the subject) of CSS3 and HTML5. In many ways this is about exploring the functionality / feature sets of the technology, to think about how I might use these to facilitate my design ideas, and or how those ideas might be constrained.
  4. Starting to look at lots of visual design again.. thinking about art making from communication to expression.. with a high emphasis on impact.. aiming to kick a whole lot of but-ox in the process (this is perhaps an area of some of my greatest strength)
  5. Starting to explore various technologies / stuff out there that might aid me in the design and development process (with a particular emphasis on the free, as you might expect)
  6. Doing a lot of thinking / brain storming / whatever on my larger business strategy, objectives, and tactics.
  7. Did I mention I’m exploring musical collaborations? This might impact the design one way or another… as this effects business and musical strategy stuff.
  8. I suppose related to 6 and 7 I’ve been looking deeper into various music industry issues..
  9. Did I mention I’m still researching / on the adventure to try and resurrect my Mac Pro from the dead?
  10. Exploring possible business ideas.. or lets say alternative business objectives that the site might address.. that would shrink the scope of the design and possibly allow me results quicker (and perhaps getting some revenue quicker)

I’m not really sure what I’m forgetting here

Stuff I plan to be doing shortly

  1. Do lots of little visual design / art making.. nothing big necessarily.. its more about getting the visual muscles going, explore various visual ideas that might contribute to the design, and make stuff that might fit into are larger scheme of stuff that.. is beyond the scope of this blog post.
  2. Running through various tutorials and code experiments.. to try and see if I can get my head around how to implement various features I plan to use in the final site design.
  3. More mind mapping for information architectural stuff and like.. navigation / err what the site map might look like.. and perhaps moving towards wire framing.

I had thought of going deeper into some of these rabbit holes.. but this post is already kinda long…

I suppose what is most impressive about this.. is that I would be able to do this as my life falls apart, as every couple of days there comes a new blow that knocks me down, and all the rest of it.. err maybe I should make a post on that madness?

Starting work on the ultimate kick but-ox artist’s website

Being without my main computer has left me to focus on what I can focus on, given the tools at my disposal… and so.. I’ve started pre production work on the website.

This will be the most bad ass music artists website known to human kind.. or at least that’s what I’m aiming for. It will be built on top of the wordpress blog / content management system.. with a whole lot of mad extending going on.

Basically.. I think artists websites suck. Especially if we are talking about websites for artist’s you’ve never heard of before.. Very often the business objectives and sorta basic strategy stuff.. of lets just say what a website should do.. what it should be.. kinda the 101 basics.. aren’t there.. never mind anything even mildly visionary.

Not so with this site.. this site will be the best artist website out there…

I know.. I’m being all boastful… and in truth I’m not sure if the site I’m looking to design is realistic or if I’ll make it through the design and production stages to actually having it up… I have a certain fear and trembling around the work in front of me… but.. if I succeed, it will kick some serious ass.

What will make it great

Basically what it is.. is thinking about the various challenges an artist has, particularly when an artist is an unknown… and what roll a website could play in address those challenges.

One of my key advantages.. over other artists.. is I’m building the website myself.. which means.. I can build a site that even an act with a major label backing probably couldn’t afford… although a disadvantage is.. I’m not exactly a web design specialist ..

The Process

I have this big old news print pad.. and I’m basically going through my ideas.. from every angle I can think of.. aiming at some kind of a rough conception of the site.. from both a design perspective and a technology blueprint perspective..

It’s very clear / obvious.. that what we are dealing with here is HTML5, CSS3, JQuery, WordPress, PHP, and MySQL for technologies.. none of which do I have any particular command off at the moment… instead what I’ll do is design the whole thing on aper.. how I want it to all work.. and then use that as a road map to do a little rapid prototyping on it… so that my learning of these technologies will be centric to my road map.

So for instance.. I know that I’ll be making heavy use of the HTML5 canvas feature.. and whatever kind of graphics acceleration is possible inside of a browser.. I’ll be pushing HTML5 and CSS3 to an extreme.. to make it work like Flash (I could probably actually pull of this site in Flash without it being anywhere near as overwhelming as it feels at the moment… I actually kinda know my way around Flash)

There will probably be, kinda sorta, different versions of the site.. and a certain way that the site will scale / change depending on the devise you’re using…  clearly you need a totally different interface if you’re on an iPhone / portable smart phone.. and the use cases are clearly different in ways you might not expect.. from say an iPad style tablet to a laptop to some kind of laptop or desktop.

User Experience Design

Some of the complexity relies on the.. shall we call it “flash” of the site. It’ll be a kind of visual and motion graphics extravaganza… the kind of thing many a usability specialist might look down on.

But really.. here in lys the real challenge.. designing the user experience and interface.. I want to do some stuff… with respect to how navigation works.. to how you can explore content and data, that I’ve never seen done before.. and that’s really the reason for the flashy-ness of it all…

The fact that I’ll be doing things differently from conventions is something that presents the really serious challenges…

In user interface design.. the goal is to not make the user think.. that the interface should get out of the way.. that the user should intuitively figure out how to get to whatever the user wants to get do, to do whatever the user wants to do.. provided of course that the website in question facilitates any of this.

So this is a really huge challenge… even if you really knew what you were doing.

But in part this is a site that’s about a unique kind of experience… and the idea that some of the navigation is unique.. hopefully.. is part of the pleasure of the site.. this idea that I’m liberating you from the limitations of traditional navigation and user interface conventions.

Strategic Objectives

All of this is done in the service of allowing you to explore the artist, and the artist’s work.. to give context and meaning to things.. to tell a story in unique ways… to bring you into the artists world…

Really.. its in someways about inbound marketing.. its about how do you take someone who ether simply happens upon the site, or for one reason or another sought out the site.. to take them from someone of causal interest.. into an indoctrinating fan.. that’s the conversion I’m looking for.. and then finally the conversion from that to an evangelist for the artist.

Of story and consumption patterns

When a new product comes to market.. you have to hear about it a number of times before you even realize it exists.. music is often designed or written with hooks.. to try and hook you into digging it as soon as possible.. or this is surely pop music.. and then there’s another kind of music.. that some, and we might call these folks music snobs, think of as a much more serious kind of music.. that isn’t about hooks.. and is somehow more satisfying.. but it’s also a good bit more challenging for the listener.. to merely get to a place where he or she is able to appreciate it.

This, to me, is a major subject for Aesthetics.. as in the philosophy of art.. but it’s also something that has implications for public relations, marketing, sales, how you tell stories.. etc.

What I want to do is take you from the hooks… down into the depths.. where things are more challenging.. and perhaps more satisfying…

Some of the stories I have to tell are like the stories of individual projects.. what went into them, the stories behind them… some of the stories are the stories of the artist confrontation with adversity.. the challenges of life.. some of the stories are more like.. the philosophy of the art and artist.. just talking about the ideas behind the work…

And then there’s the subject of finding interrelationships between stories.. so that what we see is really a rich tapestry of stories…

One way I would put it is this idea of identity.. who we think we are.. is a whole bunch of stories.. who other people think we are.. another bunch of stories.. what we are doing, trying to doing, whatever.. a bunch of stories.. and so within each of us is all these stories.. and how do you present these stories in a way that makes sense from a user centric story consumption point of view? From a promotion and marketing point of view?

These are all some of the challenges.

Also there’s the more basic kinds of things.. that this site is to achieve.. I want to sell some work… make some money.. etc…

Well that’s all for now.. I have a certain party I need to get to and I’m running late!!!

The end of the world: My computer died

This is the end of the world for me.. It seems like some kind of crazy miracle of the gods that this my computer’s death hasn’t sent me spiraling out of control into some suicidal black hole.

The only explanation I can think of is denial.

To understand how apocalyptic this feels for me.. you have to understand two things

  1. Something about my relationship to technology
  2. Something about My life situation

My relationship to technology

I am a media artist.. which has always meant, and continues to mean, that I need the most powerful computer system I can get my hands on… My need for computation power, graphics power, disk space, and RAM… are huge.. several times that of nearly anyone I know.

My computer is where I spend nearly all my time every day. It is the heart of my studio: it is the tool that facilitates my work and life.

For as long as I can remember, every dime I made went into the studio: I’d rather spend money on the studio then underwear or socks.  If I could find a realistic way to live without an automobile I’d so so in a second for the sake of my studio…

My computer that is now not working.. is.. I want to say 5 or 6 years old.. but still pretty bad ass. A Mac Pro with 2 intel xeon processors.. each with 4 processing cores.. all running at 2.8 GHz.. there was.. I want to say 10 GB of RAM… I had two internal drives set up as a soft raid.. all together.. between the 4 internal drives and a Drobo.. there was more then 10 TB worth of disk space.

Now that my computer has died.. I’ve lost access to the Drobo and the soft raid.. which means the projects I’ve been working on and the digital assets that are of considerable value.. I also no longer have a decent audio interface.. which means recording isn’t really happening for me..

I still have this laptop, but I have no video production software on it, nor the ability to get video software onto it which means my content marketing campaign plans are now a none starter… There is neither enough room on this laptop or a means of installing my sound software to continue my music work, on the level I was working on – never mind that this computer doesn’t have nearly enough RAM or processing power.

My life situation

I’m have several social anxiety.. actually “sever social anxiety,” from a clinical diagnosis perspective, is not a strong enough term.. it’s social phobia(s)… pretty serious stuff… which has me on disability.

My disability check is considerably less then $500 a month.. even with food stamps… The income is not always enough to afford to eat the whole way through a month without going to a food bank / pantry.. where they help feed the hungry…

I’m now in a situation where I’m facing eviction and homelessness.. again.. and I don’t know what the moving expense will look like.

My car has some kind of problem with it.. a noise.. that scares me.. and its un-inspected… I don’t know how I’m going to afford to take care of that, pay the citation the police officer gave me for it a couple days ago, and afford the move.

Living a life of this kind of poverty… every bump in the road, financially speaking.. is magnified by huge amounts..  which means life is considerably more stressful.. and indeed anxiety evoking.. then any other economic strata…

I mean.. you can look at some of the most stressful jobs in the world.. but still..  starvation, homelessness, and utter self destruction are generally not even on the imaginable horizon.

The Heart of the Problem

Basically.. I can’t live like this indefinitely… somehow I have to pull myself up and out of this situation… out of this kind of poverty.

It seems.. I sorta don’t have a choice.. I’m an artist.. and there’s just no getting around that.. and the feeling is that the only way to pull myself out of starvation is via doing the artist thing… which seems like quite the long shot.. but…

Well.. with my computer… the one that died.. I could make my music and art.. and I was hoping.. work on a video centric content marketing scheme.. to try and develop an audience that would help bring me out of poverty and perhaps to attract music business people whom I might be able to work with..

But now.. with my computer not working.. all of that is threatened.. and… with it.. a good deal of the hope I had been clinging to.

The only hope really.. is to somehow find the means to have it fixed.. but how do I find the means? I don’t know.

Eviction Day

It’s not really eviction day.. or the day of homelessness.. or any of that… I was given an eviction notice 3 months ago today… and the date it said I was supposed to get out of this house by is.. well… today.

I often like to differentiate between things like “enlightened self interest” the Law, and um… lets say something like “personality.” So for instance.. if you post content to Facebook.. Facebook owns that and can do whatever it wants with it, right? But that would not be in Facebook’s self interest because.. well.. that would create a very difficult PR situation.. that could potentially really damage Facebook.

You see what I’m saying?

I throw personality in there because.. different people are motivated by different things.. so in whatever legal situation.. or whatever.. just cause the law says X doesn’t mean X is what’s going to happen.. you know what I mean?

So.. I don’t fully understand the law surrounding this eviction business.. but I have a few hunches about how this could play out.

For starters.. right now I’m scrambling to try and figure out how to move out of this house.. to find some place to move into.. but it’s not so easy seeing as… well I’m super poor.. I need subsidized housing.. there seems to be a shortage in that area.. etc.

What gives me some sense of not totally freaking out is understand that the law is such that.. if I’m doing a reasonable amount.. I guess this is what it is.. to try and get out of this house.. they can’t just kick me to the street..

So.. I think they know that.. cause.. you know.. they have a lawyer.. which is why I got the eviction notice.. what I think the deal is.. .obviously they want me out of the house.. and they could summon me to court right away.. but the trouble is that’s going to cost my father money #1 and #2 its a month before I’d get to court anyway.. and if I’ve left at that point.. well what’s the use.

But.. besides that.. there is the legal issue of.. if they can’t kick me out if I’m doing a reasonable amount to try and get out of here.. well, does it make sense to take me to court then? I mean if it’s a case you can’t win?

Now.. I don’t know.. I’m sure a judge can do stuff.. and like.. you know.. maybe there is a good reason to take me to court even if they can’t win.

More to the point.. I think what they want to do is really motivate me to get out of here.. and.. I think.. the more the situation is one that.. they get some kind of legal leverage.. like ok they’ve done the eviction notice.. well that’s a first step, right?

Also.. I don’t think they want me to become homeless. I mean.. look, here’s the situation.. I’ve been living here forever.. with my parents.. my mom died, dad has Alzheimer’s.. he goes into a nursing home.. they need to sell the house to help pay for the nursing home.. so I mean.. that’s the deal.. but.. you know.. at the very least if my dad didn’t have Alzheimer’s.. I think it’s pretty clear he wouldn’t want me kicked to the street.. you know? And I would think that would factor in there somewhere.

So.. I don’t know.. I guess over all I’m trying not to freak out over this..

Anyway.. so today’s agenda

I’m fasting.. cause I need to go get a blood test.. for a liver issue.. Umm.. I’m not the kind of raging alcoholic that ought to have a liver issue at this point…. I have drank alcohol once in the past 3 months… nearly 4.. and other then wanting to go out and have some fun.. it hasn’t really bothered me not to drink…

So.. this liver issue is probably not damage from drinking.. and I haven’t really been doing illicid drugs.. like.. I’m not like a pot head… and other then in college.. when I did some psychedelics… I’ve never really done anything harder then pot..

My diet is pretty horrible.. so there’s that…

But in all likely hood the deal is probably some kind of genetic thing.. like a sensitive liver.. that is the problem.

So.. the deal is I have a doctors appointment next week for it.. Tuesday I believe.. and I gotta make sure that i’ve gotten the blood work done by then.. thus the fasting..  is that appointment.

The thing I’m more into for that doctors appointment is getting some medication to help with my smoking.. because I can’t freaking afford smoking.. hell.. the money that would go to drinking is going to smoking right now…

But there’s the financial issue of having to move in front of me.. there’s car issues… and a mess of stuff I’m not dealing with.. so money is an issue… so I gotta get off the smokes.

Now.. I also gotta head over to SMOC.. I forget what that stands for.. but its for folks like me needing housing… actually.. shit.. I also needed to go to the food pantry to get some food… and they are closed as of 3 minutes from now so I guess that’s out…

And.,.. I’m just about out of my anxiety medication.. so there’s that issue. Err.. everything makes me anxious don’t cha know…

So….

I don’t know… yeah… that’s the days adventure.. mostly..

A tail of woe: the video project a remix project, technological horror shows, and the eviction / homeless threat

So today’s post is a tail of woe…. lots and lots of woe.. my brothers and sisters. Well at least I have good coffee to drink while I tell it!

So last month, the month of February. I spent deep in the trenches of an epic remix project. It actually didn’t start out to be quite so epic; the goal was to do it in 2 weeks.. but then.. well you know how those voices in your head can be.. urging you on… and then there was that technology night mare that happened.. more on that latter.. and before you know it.. the remix is the product of a month of 40 hour + work weeks.. never leaving the house….

It probably wouldn’t have been more then 3 weeks if not for the technology woes.. and it might have been just two weeks if so much of the project wasn’t about my growing and stretching and spending time in manuals trying to learn pseudo arcane functionalities of various music production technologies and…

Well in the end the project was rushed.. and I worried that it might suffer for that. I got it in 20 minutes before the deadline.. only to find out the deadlined moved back a day.. and I could have fixed a few things.. but at that point I was so worn out from all the stress and aggravation of the technological battles.. that I was just too emotionally worn out / stretched thin and too attached to the idea of being done with it, to go back and fix anything.

Then there’s the subject of the contest

The remix is for a contest. If you win, you get $1000 and your stuff remix released on the artist’s album.

I’m not sure that a month of 40 hour work weeks.. and all the aggravation, is quite worth a $1000 pay check.. never mind that victory is at best a gamble… but there is a bigger picture of trying to break into remixing.. where it probably is worth it… or I hope it’s worth it anyway.

I ran into this project without really knowing what I was getting into.. having no idea how many other submissions there would be. I just figured “fuck it, I’ll give it everything I got, see if I can win the bastard.” Some kinda idea in your heart that believes this kinda thing can lead to victory.. maybe it’s just watching to many movies or something…. makes you do it.

Votes

After submitting my remix.. I discovered that the contest was about more then just how good my remix was.. or how the judge might judge it, but that there was also this business of trying to get votes.

If I had known votes were important, I wouldn’t have spent my month locked away in the house.. I mean I barely left the house for a month.. because of technology issues I couldn’t have my browser open so I want online…. no I’d have spent a certain amount of time trying to strengthen whatever social ties I might have.. so that I might be in a better position to ask for votes at the end of it..

Also I learned that there were 183 other submissions. (If I knew there would be that many I probably wouldn’t have gone for it) Let me give you my view of this:

You ever try and listen to 183 tracks to try and pick out which one you think is the best? Especially when what we are talking about is a remix.. where you’re hearing some of the same shit.. the same recordings.. 183 times.. and even more so if you’re the artist.. whom had to listen to that same material.. God knows how many times.. during the production of the actual album!!!

What can happen is that it starts to all sound the same.. you’re ears grow tired.. don’t hear the same way.. it effects how you think of what you’re listening to…

So.. it seemed to me that.. Jesus, was he actually even going to listen to all 183 tracks? So clearly I needed to get votes.

Pretty early on.. I was about #23 out of a 183 people…. and I really hadn’t done too much to promote this… which was pretty exciting actually. As of the last I checked.. I’m #19.. and I’m about to give it my final push.

So.. what I decided on was a quick social media strategy.. to try and score more votes

The Promotion strategy

First I wanted to create a video.. The idea of this video is like the extra’s you’ll find on some DVDs: ”look at all the amazing stuff we had to do to create this film, doesn’t that make our film look special” kind of stuff.. everyone talks about how everyone they work with is just wonderful, wonderful, wonderful… and they use this shit to promote the film.

Well.. let me give you just a couple stats on my Remix project. There were about 114 channels, 36 virtual instruments.. when I set it up to look at the mixing console.. where you might say.. set levels for everything… I can stretch that mixer across 2 27″ displays.. and you’re still not seeing half of that mixer.

So the idea was that I would create this kind of elaborate screen casting video.. of the production.. that would show you all that went into it.. if you your self were a electronic music producer.. you could gleam a lot of how I work from the cast.. and if you don’t know anything about music production you’d go “holy crap look at that!”

In a way my strategy wasn’t really about the remix contest it’s self.. or a part of it wasn’t.. a part of it was wanting to get out the word.. that I’m really on a very professional kind of level when it comes to music production.. that it aint no joke.. that I’m the real deal.

But I wont get into all that here.

Next there would be a video.. basically of me talking into the camera.. talking about the contest, talking about what went into the contest.. talking about the screen cast video.. and what you could see on that… and I’d be asking for your vote.. and asking for you to pass the video along.. The key of this video was to make a compelling story.. the story of the remix.. the story of how this fits into my career, the story of where I’m at in life.. a story of drama.. where you hopefully empathize with my plight.. and thus it gets passed around at least a little.

These videos.. in the Youtube tradition.. would have links in them.. a link to the contest page where you can vote.. links between these two videos.. and then another set of older videos.. that sorta show some of the darkness of my life.. just to sorta help drive home that point.

Then I was hoping I could put clips from the video into blog posts where I talk about the production.. and I might even do some screen casts talking about certain music production principles and some of the techniques I use.. many of which.. as far as I know.. I’m probably the only dude who uses them.

Now there were a number of places where I planned on sharing these videos.. or asking people to share.. where I think I could have reached a larger audience.

Other then that.. I would just personally ask people for there votes.. which is what I have to do once I finish this blog post.

And you there.. there were like facebook and twitter components to all of this to…

but then….

The technology woes of the screen cast video

Everything went wrong.. with the videos… First I did a whole bunch of screen casts.. with the idea I’d cut them all together in Final Cut.. and I used Quicktime to do the screen capture.

The issue was that Quicktime.. sucks.. I mean you can only do 15 frames per second.. secondly quicktime screen casts are saved in a file format that you can’t open in Final Cut 7… which is just crazy…

So what I did was I brought them into Compressor and did a batch transcode.. to bring them into Pro Rez.. which is a special video codec especially made for working with video in Final Cut.

Once this was done.. I bought videos into Final Cut.. and started putting them together on the timeline.. In Digital Performer.. it actually gives you time code.. that you would see on the video.. and it can do this in various formats.. so it would be easy to match up videos…

Then I discovered a horrible problem.. the audio and the video were out of synch.. If the audio and video were synched on frame 1, by frame 120 they’d be out of synch…which meant after however much work in final cut.. and like.. day’s worth of screen capturing.. all that time was waisted.

One problem might have been the conversion of 15 frames per second into 29.7 frames per second.. which is the normal video standard.. so then I went and did a more advance batch conversion in Compressor.. that would be better at blending the frames.. but would also take hell of a long time to render.. and then found that they were still out of synch… after waisting yet more time in Final Cut.

At this point I messaged a video professional video production friend.. who’s simple response was “Oh I’d just use Camtasia for that.”

So with that.. it was off to Camtasia.

Now I had this suspicion. See.. during the music production process I had run into some mad technological issues. Basically.. it would take about 10 minutes to open up the project.. you’d work for maybe 5 minutes, and it would crash.. and then you’d have to start over. That’s why I say.. if not for the technological problems.. the project would have taken a week less then it did.

The eventual solution came in the form of hardware optimization. I had cranked up the latency.. if you set one of these programs to have a tun of latency.. you then get a whole lot more processing power.. and often it’s trying to push the processing power too hard that creates the instability… so it made sense to have the latency cranked.

Well it turns out that I was also using a production known as “Liquid Mix” which runs on it’s own DSP chips.. that connects to your computer via a firewire buss… and for some reason.. has it’s own latency settings… and it seems that there was a conflict between these two latency settings that.. in the end.. were creating the mad instability issue.. never mind the conflict of having more then one thing going on your firewire buss..

So.. I cranked down the latency.. the stability issues lessoned.. but.. it hit processor pretty freaking hard.. which meant DP’s user interface becomes sluggish.. and doesn’t update so rapidly..  ( which is the very thing that’s important for your screen cast! ) and this plus however Quicktime was working.. might have been what caused the audio and video to fall out of synch.

So… I went into the project.. and got rid of every instance of Liquid Mix.. and then recranked up the latency.. in order to start doing screen captures with Camtasia… where now the processor hit would not be an issue.

I probably created something like 20 or so screen captures.. of a 4 minute piece.. each time requires a bit of set up.. and whatever.. so it ends up being a good days worth of work.

What I then discovered.. was that I couldn’t work in Camtasia the way I wanted. I layered up the video.. which caused Camtasia to choke.. and it didn’t offer any kind of means of managing the problem.. further more.. the video captured in Camtasia.. you couldn’t open up and bring into another program.. you could only get it out via Camtasia. and what was worse… is Camtasia would only let you bring it out via an MP4 compression scheme.

MP4 video compression is a distribution codec situation.. its for sharing on the web.. it’s not optimized for working inside of a program like Final Cut.. and its a lossy format.. which means.. the video degrades upon leaving the software.

What makes it even worse.. is you have 20 videos.. most of which are about 4 minutes in length.. and the fact that it has to convert a video into MP4 format.. that takes a long time.. so its going to take you another day to freaking get the video out of Camtasia.

Well late last night.. I finally had the video out.. and I had it in Final Cut.. I was working with it.. when I discovered the problem.. the MP4 compression.. had completely destroyed the video… and video that has to look perfect in like 1080p HD…. (because its a screen cast and you have to see all the details on the screen.. and the original screen is a 27″ HD computer monitor.)

I wanted to break stuff. There would be one day left of voting.. and I wouldn’t have a single video done… so I had waisted a week on this freaking video.. and had NOTHING to show for it.

What is even worse.. is that there is serious danger of eviction in my life right now.. and because I’ve been working so hard on this freaking video.. and all this music production stuff.. I’m in that much more danger of becoming homeless.. and all of that for NOTHING.

(the eviction date is in like a week)

Can you tell I’m in a bad mood?

So I haven’t given you the whole story.. of all the woes… and all the gory details.. tried to go through it as fast and concise as possible..

Well if at the end of reading all this you feel some compassion for me and my plight.. Perhaps you can do something for me that would help out a bit.

  1. Please vote for me in the remix… here’s the link.
  2. Please hit the like button on the remix contest page for where you can vote for me
  3. 3 Please share my remix.. and help me get some more votes.

That’s probably asking a lot.. but thank you for the bottom of my heart.

Oh yeah.. and tell me about it to.. so I know there was some love out there somewhere that helped me when I was feeling low like this.

Fun with Nietzsche

I’ve been a big fan of Nietzsche since college… and he’s one of these guys whom I think of as “early foundations to my thinking.” He is close to Freud, Jung, and Joseph Campbell.. as the principle figures of my thought.

In any event.. I found some online courses on Nietzsche.. which I thought would be good for augmenting my perspective. Anyway, this blog post is just an excuse to put the links here. So.. the link to this Nietzsche course is here, and I found it in this directory of courses, which I’m not exactly sure how I fell upon.

Self doubt in the creative process: My Remix Project

So.. its late at night.. and tomorrow is the Boston Media Makers.. which means a couple things… #1 That it’s been a month since I’ve written a blog post.. and #2 I should go tomorrow.. but it being as late as it is.. I may not be able to find it within myself to wake from my comma to make the venture out… though it would no doubt be good for me…

Err….

So right now I have to “pimp” my music.. well actually ask you for your vote. All this amounts to is clicking on this here link….  at the end of which is a remix I did for this contest.. and so what I’m asking is you take a listen.. and if you dig it.. to vote for me… as of my last check I’m 28th out of 184.. although I’m not entirely sure how real that number is.

I guess to limit folks making multiple votes.. they ask for your email when voting…

Marketing is story telling: The Story of the Remix

But I should tell you about this production.. and I should.. or plan to.. do a number of blog posts about the production of this remix.. the story.  It seems that every jump into the arena of music production / art making.. for me.. it’s always a story, a drama.

How good am I?

The plot is many fold and I can’t give it all to you here and now.. But.. well here’s the question “How good am I?” For me.. that’s a question that fills me with a certain amount of dread.. My sorta.. response / thoughts / feelings.. with respect to what I think the answer might be.. well there’s many levels to it.

There is a part of me that is confident.. and a part of me that.. well where my feet don’t always touch the ground and I have these grandiose feelings about my work sometimes… but that grandiosity seems kind of bipolar because.. it also swings down into these dark depressive states of wondering who the hell am I kidding.. to think I’m good enough to even bother really….

And so it is that in making the music, making the art.. its like I find that I have to do battle with this question.. these fears… the demons that lye waiting around.. for me surrounding the question… this is my inward psychological challenge.

The other part of the challenge

The next part of it… is that I have no business calling myself an artist.. or this is what I believe.. if I’m not working my ass off trying to make it happen… Now this part of me sorta believes this question of “how good am I?” is sort of a bullshit, besides the point question. It’s the part of me that doesn’t exactly believe in talent.. but believes in muscles… that the more you work out on a muscle group..  the stronger it gets.. and so the point is I need to really work my ass off.. when it comes to this muscle group of music production.

The trouble is I have to fight my way through the demons of self doubt in order to obtain a state of… working my ass of… I have to kind walk on fire.. and.. all this sorta madness.

The measure of success

So on this level the remix was a success because.. I did indeed work my ass off on it. And not only did I work my ass off on it.. but I believe I also grew a hell of a lot from the experience… so there we go.. two victories.

Of course there’s another part of me that says “Look, it was a full time job that ended up taking about a month’s worth of work, and if you win the contest.. you only get $1000… and is that worth all the work you put in? And when you then see that there’s 183 people that I’m up against.. It starts to seem like a really mad thing to try and do.

But… but.. if I were to win.. that would be powerful.. It would be powerful because I put everything I had into this project… and so it would be a kind of affirmation towards working so hard.. towards putting everything you’ve got into a project… and not only that.. to all the fears of not being good enough.. it would say “um dude, you just won in a contest where you were up against 183 other people.” Not only that.. but then there’s the prize money… and your work getting released on an album where you get some kind of exposure and do some kind of reputation building…

And to the degree to which getting into remixing is something I need to do.. as it could be a source of money.. it would be a hell of a first step.

So of course that’s one reason why I’m asking for your vote.. and hell.. even if I don’t win.. but do well as far as people voting for me.. that would mean a lot to!

So what I intend to do is spend the month promoting my remix.. and a big part of that will be writing these kinds of blog posts.. on the story of the production.

So I guess this is one story.

Anyway… so once again.. here’s the link to my remix where you can vote.